So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
