omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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