I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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