Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
