lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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