umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We need to rekindle our bromance
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
