ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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