Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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