so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
