I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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