hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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