i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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