As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
