A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
