You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
