Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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