I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
