It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
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someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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