I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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