i don't like sucking hair
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
