Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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