There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
