Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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