i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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