Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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