I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
