ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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