i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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