Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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