i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
