dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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