Define "chronic" masturbator.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
