i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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