I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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