yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
