what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize