WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
