her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
