did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
