this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
