The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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