Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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