shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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