then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
