Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
