I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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