I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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