Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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