New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize