It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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