I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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