I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
