With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
