dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
