Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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