Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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