I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
